End of Heartache
by Mayhem777
Summary: Relena reminisces on her relationship with her brother. An SOA side story.


**The End of Heartache**

**A Soldiers Of Apocalypse side story**

**Authors Note:** Originally when I made this it was a song fic based on the song "The End of Heartache" by Killswitch Engaged. However on the rewrite I wanted to add more of a back story, and I felt that the whole song fic format wouldn't work. So I decided to keep the title (cause I find it very fitting) and throw in some lyrics at the beginning and end. I hope you enjoy it! Also as an FYI, I would highly recommend reading the story "The Soldiers of the Apocalypse" because this story is to help bridge the events of chapter 5 and 6.

**The End of Heartache**

_**Seek me, call me I'll be waiting**_

_**This distance, this dissolution**_

_**I cling to memories while falling**_

_**Sleep brings release, and the hope of a new day**_

_**Waking the misery of being without you**_

_Relena laid back into her chair and let out a sigh of relief for the first time in many weeks,.She had just came back from a session with her fellow members of the ESUN. Today was the day when it was to be decided whether or not the Gundam pilots, and those who aided them, were to be declared war criminals. Relena fought hard for many weeks to make sure that would never happen, and today her hard work had payed off. Despite objections from former Alliance, Oz, and Romerfeller members, the ESUN had exonerated the Gundam pilots and their allies of all charges. _

_She smiled to herself as she thought of the others "I hope you all appreciate how hard I worked for this." she thought with a grin. Her mind then thought of the Gundam pilot who preoccupied most her thoughts, "Heero... you would've been so proud, I hope this helps you live easier..."_

_A sudden ringing from her phone jolted her out of her thoughts, without looking at the caller id she quickly answered the phone "This is Relena Darlin speaking."_

"_Relena..."_

_Relena's eyes shot open as she instantly recognized the voice "Milliardo?"_

"_Please don't say that, I don't go by that name any more."_

_She could hear his voice shaking slightly, her own body also trembled at the sound of his voice, it had been many years since they had last talked. "I'm sorry Zechs, I didnt mean to offend you."_

"_It's alright, it's a simple mistake..."_

_For a moment there was a uncomfortable silence between them as she thought of something to say. It lasted only a few moments, but it felt like an eternity._

"_Zechs why..."_

_Zechs voice suddenly interrupted her own"Relena before you say anything else let me talk, I... I need to tell you something."_

_Relena caught the catch in his voice, she quickly realized that he was crying "Okay..."_

_She heard him take a deep breath before continuing "Relena first off I need to apologize... for everything, you are my sister, my family, yet I have never once tried to contact you... I even tried to forget about you, tried to forget everything about my past... but I can't, even with Noin in my life I'll never be whole until I at least try to make amends... I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, I've disgraced my family, I was never there for you when you needed me... but I want a chance to try again... I'm tired of running from you, Relena your the only family I have left... And for the first time in my life, I want us to be that again... I love you Relena... will you please forgive an old fool for abandoning you..."_

_Tears streamed down her face as she listened to his confession "Zechs... you musn't blame only yourself... I had many opportunities to contact you... but I didn't, not because I was too busy, but because I was scared of what you thought of me. I abandoned you, I left you for dead... what kind of sister would do that to her own family... you shouldn't have to beg for my forgiveness, I am just as much to blame for our distance if not more."_

_There was a slight pause between them before Zechs spoke again "Relena, you cant blame yourself for what you did back then... I was a monster, I killed countless people, I tried to destroy the world, knowing what I do now I would have abandoned myself... but I want to forget about all that, we have an opportunity to start again and I don't want to waste it . We can still be a family Relena, but only if you want too..."_

_Relena smiled slightly as more tears fell "Yes... I do... I'm tired of running too, in my heart I've always longed for this, do you really think we can start over?"_

"_Its never to late, starting tonight lets be a family again..."_

* * *

Relena's eyes opened and she look around the room, she was in her quarters sitting at her desk. Relena laid back into the chair and let out a sigh.

"Why must all my dreams be memories..."

The memory of the night when Zechs and her decided to be a family again was still fresh in her mind. She smiled softly as she remembered feeling an overwhelming feeling of happiness. That night seemed to last forever, and she wished it could have, they talked about so many things, it was as if they were trying to make up for all the time lost between them in one night. But as she thought about it more, a sense of bitterness set in. Her brother was a wonderful person, but she never knew it until he called her. And the thought that tore her up the most was the fact that if he never called her, they probably never would've met. The thought to contact him did cross her mind from time to time, she would always find excuses not too though, but in her heart it was because she was afraid. And that pathetic fear kept her from knowing how good of a person he was.

With a sigh she looked down on her desk at the piece of paper and pencil in front of her. She quickly remembered what she was doing, she was writing a letter to Zechs to put on his grave. Her eyes grazed through it till she reached the end, it was the hardest part to write but she knew she had to do it. Her eyes fixed on the last paragraph as she read it to herself

_Zechs... Those years that we kept in touched are some of the best memories of my life. But all it reminds me of now is all those years that I did nothing to try and contact you. If only I had been strong enough to try and reach out to you sooner... but now I can only dream of how it might have been. Why was I so afraid, why did I never contact you? I never even tried, not once. It was like you were already dead to me. I sometimes wonder if we should've ever started talking in the first place. Would it have even mattered if we never spoke to each other? Zechs… I'm so sorry; I've failed you as a sister._

Relena brought a hand to her faces as she permitted herself to shed a few tears.

"Relena,"

Relena jumped slightly and looked at the doorway, it was Noin. She stood there looking at her with a look of concern.

"Sorry to startle you, Une told me what happened in the briefing room... I was just seeing if you were okay."

Relena lowered her head "I'm fine; I just lost my composure. I was surprised myself... I guess I just couldn't take it anymore. Everything I've had to live with because of him… it just came out."

Noin smiled slightly to comfort her "It's okay, all that it means is that you're human too. Given the circumstances it was only natural the way you reacted."

Relena sighed "I know it's just that I shouldn't have let him get to me. I bet he's laughing right now about what happened."

Noin shook her head "If anything I bet you scared him. I don't think he ever saw that reaction coming."

Relena looked up at her "Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

Relena paused for a second "Noin, what would you have done if you were in that room? If you saw his face, heard his voice, how would've you reacted?"

Noin paused for a moment and looked away from her gaze "Honestly… I don't know. The only thing I know is that when I see him, I'd want to make him suffer the same way he made me."

Relena gave her a slight nod "I would too... I guess im not such a pacifist after all."

There was a silence between them, Noin decided to change the subject. She looked at the desk "What are you doing?"

Relena glanced down at the paper then at back at Noin "It's a letter to Zechs; I'm going to put it on his grave when this is all over. I'm not finished yet but it's getting close."

Noin smiled "That's sweet, can I read it?"

Relena looked at her hesitantly "I don't think you'd want to read it."

Noin walked up to her "Come on I want to see what you wrote to him."

Relena sighed and slowly handed her the letter. Noin grabbed it and began reading through it. But as she read the words her smile quickly vanished.

She looked back at Relena "Is this how you truly feel?"

Relena nodded slightly "It's the truth, as much as I don't want to admit it. In all honesty I don't see why he would've wanted to talk to me that night. Any other brother would have been ashamed to call me his sister."

Noin shook her head "You mustn't say such things, you have no idea how much he cared for you."

Relena simply lowered her head, Noin walked up to her and placed a hand on her shoulder "While we were on Mars, he told me his feelings for you. He told me that he thought you were a brave women, with a gentle soul and a strong sense of justice. He said that he was proud that that he could call you his sister."

"But why!" Yelled Relena taking Noin aback, tears began to well up in her eyes "Why did he love me? I did nothing for him, I all but disowned him. Even now it hurts to think of our relationship because we didn't share anything. I feel somewhat ashamed to call him my brother. Not because of what he did, but because of how I treated him. I…"

Noin forcefully put a hand over her mouth "You still don't get it. Do you think you were the only person that felt responsible? If anything Zechs felt like he failed you. But he knew that the only way to forgive himself was to talk to you."

Relena looked at her in shock. Noin slowly removed the hand from mouth "Relena you should have seen him after that talk. I've never seen him so happy. He felt from that point on, that he had earned the right to call you his sister. He loved you Relena, because you filled the void in his life, you made him whole."

Noin got up and walked to the door "I'm sorry for being forceful, but I had to stop you. If you're still in doubt then ask yourself this. What do you think Zechs treasured more? All those years of being apart, or those few years where he got to share his life with you?"

Noin closed the door and walked out of the room. Relena just sat there as she thought about what Noin said. She then picked up her pencil and erased the last part of the letter; she then began to write again.

_Zechs despite all that happened between us, I just want you to know that I don't regret a single day of it. I'm sorry it took so long for me to see that. I'm happy that I got the chance to make amends with you, and I am proud to call you my brother. I love you Zechs and one day I hope that we will be together again, just like the family we always wanted to be, Goodbye my dear Brother._

_Relena_

Relena then put down the pencil, got up, and ran after Noin. As she quickly ran down the hall she saw Noin right before she entered her room.

"Noin!"

She turned around and looked at her. Relena ran over to her and hugged her tight. She buried her face into her shoulder and cried.

"Thank you Noin… thank you."

Noin smiled as she felt tears rush to eyes. She wrapped her arms around her and returned the hug.

_(**Seek me) For comfort, (Call me) For solace**_

_**(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart**_

_**(Seek me) Completion, (Call me) I'll be waiting**_

_**(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart**_

**The End**

**This took a lot longer than I thought but at least I got it done, now on too finish the last chapter of Part 7. As always if you read this story please leave a review telling me what you think, I really do appreciate feedback as its the only way I'll ever know what to do to get better. Thanks again for reading, and be sure to give my story "The Soldiers of the Apocalypse" a read too!**

**P.s. If anyone is curious to what this story looked like before the rewrite, just let me know and I'll send you a copy :)**


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